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Coming Up, Crocus

by Sophie Ogilvie

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1.
Milk Glass 03:33
Coming home under a milk glass sky Splitting peas with the porch light on your shoulder Asking what you’re thinking And guessing right On the last supper outside Before it gets colder Swollen, heavy with expectation I know you’re going to be let down And I don’t want to need Anything I take from you But I do, I do, I do, I do But I do, I do, I do, I do You paint small town living with a broad brush There’s novelty in everywhere you go The strip malls and the dive bars and the cineplex Are singular attractions when I’m there with you in tow Swollen, heavy with expectation I know you’re going to be let down And I don’t want to need Anything I take from you But I do, I do, I do, I do But I do, I do, I do, I do Choking down all of the smoke That I’ve been blowing when I told you You’d be better off Spending endless nights spoiling myself Instead of spoiling the time Trying to keep it light for someone else Drowning in expectation I know you’re going to be let down And I don’t want to need Anything I take from you But I do, I do, I do, I do But I do, I do, I do, I do I do, I do, I do, I do
2.
Lash 03:40
Every time I look inside Your pleading eyes it makes me Want to cry, a bit I used to think I couldn’t bear The pummeling promised in Such a stare again Oh when did you become someone on whom I depend Oh when I didn’t think I’d hold My cautiousness alone Deliberating each word Delicate as skipping stones, but I Ought to know my nature better Though you never asked me to be the tender I’ll try to keep you whole And we’ll never be alone I brush a lash across your cheek And hope the wish you make will cling to me I want to believe That the hand I lay across your waist Will be washed clean, my injuries effaced Can you grant me the grace? I didn’t think I’d hold My cautiousness alone Deliberating each word Delicate as skipping stones, but I Ought to know my nature better Though you never asked me to be the tender I’ll try to keep you whole And we’ll never be alone
3.
​​It was coming up, crocus When my cab arrived Pulling outside of the city I’d never seen ground so green And a chill hung inside of my sleeve It was clear to me when we began to speak That I’d be breaking up your sense of morality I couldn’t help rearranging myself As if I’d ironed out all vulnerability I can’t quite place what we buried in the ground What felt so significant seems hazy to me now I’m frightened not by longing But the knowledge that it’s gone As if every love I’ve ever had Will eventually wear off It was coming up on Christmas The candles by your bedside shone an omen I bowed my head by the river’s edge I was ashamed to be aching for my own bed I can’t quite place what we buried in the ground What felt so significant seems hazy to me now I’m frightened not by longing But the knowledge that it’s gone As if every love I’ve ever had Will eventually wear off Every day (everyday) Endless rain Anything could grow What’s a memory anyway If you and I aren’t there to know? I can’t quite place what we buried in the ground What felt so significant seems hazy to me now I’m frightened not by longing But the knowledge that it’s gone As if every love I’ve ever had Will eventually wear off
4.
New Friend 03:08
New friend Every few months on the weekend Listing the titles that I recommend To the neighbourhood’s edge You say it’s hard to get going the last few days They’re putting down mulch on the outskirts again And it’s calling for rain You and I Hard to please and hard done by Remain in forever revision God knows I can’t create An ounce of faith in your own ambition But I hope It takes everything in me not to brush away The dreariness filling up Space after space But you can’t stand that shallow stuff anyway I say it’s certainly nothing You stop me again I want to be honest but can’t tell what’s pretend You and I Hard to please and hard done by Swarmed in forever revision Lord knows I must fabricate Every ounce of faith Just to make a decision But I hope Old friends Getting away for the weekend But the heat of the city will spoil me again
5.
Kites 03:26
I hold your happiness like a kite on a string Feel the weight in my palm When the wind stops blowing I’d follow you closely wherever you went But my heels started digging When my leisure was spent I always run Into the thick of love And yours is a constant Buts not the only one I always run Into the thick of love And yours is a constant Buts not the only one Moment to moment I know where you stand In rooms set apart you bristle in my hand I wish I could pet you and ribbon your hair Strands held thick and entwined Your womanhood and mine Tangled between where your desire begin and mine recede I always run Into the thick of love And yours is a constant Buts not the only one I always run Into the thick of love And yours is a constant Buts not the only one But I would like to believe you’d be tethered to me when we part No I know, more than believe, you are I always run Into the thick of love And yours is a constant Buts not the only one I always run Into the thick of love And yours is a constant Buts not the only one
6.
Souvenir 03:34
In the wake of loving you I sit alone at my window Waiting out the afternoon Looking for the next thing to do Time can be so cruel it’s always Running away from me Crawling up my legs Drowned in a puddle of memories That turn into a river That spill into a sea I only want to let you Wash over me You calm me like a river You sway me like the sea I only want to let you Wash me clean In the wake of loving you I search for souvenirs I sing the words you wrote down And orchestras appear Walking ‘cross the overpass and Brushing against your hand I miss you like the morning Gone before it began That turns into an evening That keeps me up all night I sleep in through the daytime I don’t want to face the light I wonder how you’re feeling And I’m sure that you’ll be fine I only want to know that you’re doing alright

credits

released October 6, 2023

Music, lyrics, and guitar by Sophie Ogilvie
Produced by Sophie Ogilvie & Chris Steward
Drums by Ryan White on tracks 1, 2, 3, 6
Additional guitar by Chris Steward on tracks 2, 3, 5
Bass by Chris Steward
Saxophone by Chris Edmondson on track 4

Engineered by Michael Hahn, Chris Steward, and Sophie Ogilvie
Mixed by Asher Gould Murtagh
Mastered by Heather Kirby
Album art featuring "Echo Location" by Laura Findlay

This work was created with support from Canada Council for the Arts and FACTOR Canada.

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Sophie Ogilvie Montreal, Québec

On Coming Up, Crocus, change is always already in motion. The debut EP from Montreal artist Sophie Ogilvie chronicles how one season passes into the next, how a relationship resolves itself into something gone. Drawing on jazz, R&B, and 90s alternative, Ogilvie’s songwriting is simultaneously cool and vulnerable, soft and hard-
hitting, delicate and dramatic.
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